


It's Strange

by Slackersunite



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Break Up, Depression, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:57:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7343824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slackersunite/pseuds/Slackersunite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade breaks up with Peter, and neither can handle the loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Strange

**Author's Note:**

> The story is set to the song It's Strange by Louis The Child feat. K. Flay
> 
> I recommend listening to it if you haven't already heard it, my favorite is the Boombox Cartel remix.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z3_X-44qwE

> _Heartbeat so cold that I don't feel at all_
> 
> _Scarred up inside so I build all these walls_
> 
> _Head rolling back, but I'm faking the rush_
> 
> _I'm out every night and I'm lonely as fuck_

Flashes of that terrible memory came back to Wade in rushes. He could see the tears streaming down Peter's face like it was yesterday.  _God why was he so dumb_. He had lost the one thing he really cared about. After that he hadn't really spoken to anyone, done anything except try to drown out his sorrows with alcohol and other more toxic substances. Now he was walking to a strip club with his Deadpool costume on, he would probably buy the place out, who knew? All he knew was that that night with Peter had left him numb and even more fucked up than before. 

He got inside, the grinding bodies, the flashing lights, the heavy music this is what he had come for. If the music was loud enough maybe he could drown out his thoughts. He didn't even need to find anyone before a group of strippers surrounded him, he quickly handed each of them fifty bucks. They were satisfied and soon he was on a chair with a pretty blonde sucking him off, and two brunettes making every other part of him was properly attended too. It only took a few seconds for Wade to profusely dislike what was happening. The brunettes really started to piss him off, nobody else had hair like Peter but god that color was such a trigger. He quickly started to fake his orgasm, he didn't want to be rude or anything. He had been rude enough in his lifetime. 

He went to the bar and bought an entire case of beer and sat and drank it, he felt so empty, so lonely. He couldn't even get drunk but life was so overwhelming, and he was so numb it didn't matter.

 

> _I make my own rules, and my own plans_
> 
> _I got no room for no man_
> 
> _That's my way, that's my way_
> 
> _And then I saw you in the dream right_
> 
> _I wanna call you, I kind of feel then_
> 
> _I can't name, I can't name_

Peter was bitter. Everything he looked at reminded him of Wade, and he felt so sad. He had been taking a shower but that only reminded him of Wade so he broke the curtain rod, he had trashed his whole apartment really. The whole place was full of webs and broken glass. The tv was on the floor, the kitchen had been completely ransacked. Peter had contemplated burning the entire kitchen, but he had restrained himself. Earlier that day he had gone out and kissed a random girl he had seen hoping maybe Wade would be mad if he knew. Peter had tried drowning out his sorrows with mindless sex on many an occassion the past week. But Peter was disgusted with himself. The girl had blonde hair, like Wade said he used to. And the girl had those goddam blue eyes. But they weren't the same. No one had eyes like Wade's. 

Peter had tried to sleep but all he could think of was the empty space in his bed. He hated Wade, he hated himself, he hated everything. Eventually he had fallen asleep only to be greeted by  _fucking Wade_.

" _Peter listen, I don't- I don't think this is going to work."_

_"What? Wade! What the hell are you even saying," Peter had said grabbing at Wade._

_Wade had moved his hands, "Peter... Peter I'm not good. I- You need to get away from me."_

_Wade had sounded so lost, so angry at something._

_"Baby, no..." Peter said, but Wade was already leaving._

Peter woke up crying. He hugged himsmelf tight, he wanted to call Wade so badly. It had been almost a week of shit like this. He didn't know what to do. He hadn't eaten in three days, and he had cried himself to sleep every night. Surely this was not what Wade had had in mind. Surely Wade couldn't have wanted this.  _God why was he so dumb,_ Peter thought it was all his own fault. He needed to call Wade.

 

> _It's strange, but I don't need space from you_
> 
> _And every single thing you do, I like_
> 
> _I've been chased; maybe I just knew I had to wait for you_
> 
> _Draw a knife and carve a little space for you_
> 
> _It feels nice_

Wade was on his last beer and about to order more when his phone buzzed. He looked at it and heavily cringed, it was Peter. It was a simple "hi" but it was enough. Wade was so close to shooting his heart out right there in the middle of the club when the phone's buzzing turned almost violent. Peter was calling, Wade didn't know what to do, but his hand did the work without permission. He picked up, on the other side was a sobbing Peter,

"Wade- Wade please. I can't, I can't-," his words were breathy, like he was trying hard not to cry or scream.

"Wade! I can't live like this Wade... I don't-," 

Peter went quiet after that. Wade was slowly getting up from the bar. All he could hear was Peter's sniffles, and Wade was terrified. 

" _Talk to me Petey,"_ he thought. But there was no reply, until...

"...Wade? You forgot one of your guns," Peter's voice was barely a whisper, and the buzzing silence of the ended call rung through Wade's entire body and soul.

Wade lost it at that moment. Peter wouldn't do it.  _FUCK!_ Peter couldn't kill himself.  _NO!_ How would Wade live if Peter killed himself. 

That was the end for Wade, when his whole life came crashing down on him. He had never run faster in his life. He had ripped a cabbie out of a taxi so violently he wasn't even thinking. He had never done anything as mindlessly in his whole life. But Wade could see nothing but Peter,  _his Peter_. Wade drove the car through traffic almost running people over but he didn't care. He only cared about one thing. 

Wade ran up the apartment building as fast as he could, running three sometimes four steps at a time. He broke down the door in one swift motion, he didn't give a fuck anymore. Peter wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, but the mess made Wade's heart break. He ran to Peter's room,  _they're room._ Peter was sitting on the balls of his feet, the window was open. The lights were off but Wade could make out the gun in Peter's hand.  _His gun_. Peter's breath was hitched, tears streaming down his face. His pale shirtless torso was beaded with sweat. 

"Are you another hallucination?" Peter asked, he didn't look in Wade's direction.

Wade's broken, cold, dead heart shattered into a million pieces. He took off his mask and stepped closer to Peter. The distance between the door and Peter's bed seemed like world's apart. Wade could remember what he had done to himself that past week.

One time he had taken a switch knife and cut out his heart, because in his mind it was dead and he needed a new one. He had really wanted to die that day, he wanted to feel all the pain he deserved that day.

But now here was his perfect Peter, holding a gun undoubtedly contemplating a thousand ways to murder himself. This was what Wade was supposed to do, Peter was never supposed to end up on this side of the line. This was too far, this was too much.

Wade slowly placed a hand on the gun.

"Peter... I'm- I'm not a hallucination," Wade whispered tears forming in his eyes.

Peter turned to look at Wade, he didn't know how to feel. A thousand different emotions passed through him in that second. Anger, hatred, joy, happiness. 

 

> _It's strange, but I don't need space from you_
> 
> _And every single thing you do, I like_

Wade had come, that was what was important. That meant he cared enough. Peter knew why Wade had left, he knew Wade was insecure and he was only trying to do the best thing for Peter. But Peter couldn't live that way, a life without Wade was no life at all. 

"Wade... I-," Peter started.

Wade's grip on the gun hardened and he slowly pulled it from Peter's hand and threw it out the door. 

"Peter... Peter-" Wade started his voice hitching. Both men were crying now. 

Peter moved his hand to Wade's cheek, a smile ran across Peter's face.

"Wade... you're not bad for me."

Wade smiled a small, weak smile. Had he really pushed Peter to this? He placed his hand on Peter's. Peter was right, life without each other wasn't a life at all. They belonged together, and here in that moment that was so undeniably clear. 

"I'm sorry baby boy," Wade whispered.

Peter brought Wade into a kiss, it was soft, sweet, reassuring. 

"I'm so so, sorry, I'm so sorry, Petey, god I'm so so sorry," Wade mumbled as Peter pulled him into the bed. 

 

> _Open me up, I let down my defense_
> 
> _I swore that I wouldn't go falling again_
> 
> _I could be faded with somebody new_
> 
> _Rather be sober at home just us two._

Wade kissed Peter so slowly, so softly. He was afraid he would break the smaller man. Peter touched Wade tentatively, he still wasn't sure this wasn't all just a dream. Soon they both became hungrier for each other, they had been deprived for what felt like ages. They had both tried to drown themselves in other things, they had both had mindless sex with strangers, but here in each others arms, this night, this was right. 

It seemed like the whole universe had aligned, that all of time and space itself was supposed to lead up to this very moment. This is where they belonged. They kissed and kissed, Wade tracing down Peter's torso with his rough hands, Peter's hands wrapping around Wade, tracing over all the scars that had become so familiar. The scars he thought he had lost forever. They were both still crying, Peter saw the new scars on Wade's chest a crude heart shape not yet faded into the web of scars already there. He placed a kiss on it and Wade stopped breathing. 

They looked into each other's eyes for what felt like the first time. Peter stared into those sad blue eyes, he wanted to drown in those pools. Wade was staring into Peter's doe eyes, they were so brown. They got darker the farther they got from the pupils. It was a darkness Wade knew well, but Peter's darkness wasn't a cruel one, it was a good one, a peaceful one. 

They didn't do anything that night, they stayed in bed wrapped in each others arms both of them crying. They didn't know whose tears were whose anymore, all they knew was that the man in their arms was the one, undeniably perfect in every way.

They didn't sleep, they watched the sun rise through the open window, they never let go once, because neither would let this moment slip away. This moment, neither could put a name to this moment. 

"I love you," they whispered simultaneously. 

 


End file.
